It’s Not Your Fault: The Subconscious Reasons We Self-Sabotage and How to Stop. Author Laura K. Connell talks about the root cause of self-sabotage and how we can overcome it. She also talks about dealing with toxic people and ways self sabotage tries to keep us safe. Good news, there is an antidote and once you recognize self-sabotage you can kick it to the curb and live your best life.